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Thursday, March 13, 2008
Of fences and walls
Probably handling human relationships is something I will never get it right my entire life...
From a young age, I have struggled with manging relationships. It doesn't come easily to me like other people who naturally have a gift interacting with people.
I think too hard, too much at times. I care too much about the way people look at me from the way I speak, behave and act. I care too much about how my words and actions will impact them.
That's why every word, every action I do..is after much consideration.
I am too sensitive to other people's feelings.
My mum says I will go crazy very soon with my brain thinking about all these seemingly trivial things.
To prevent myself from hurt, I have also started building fences and walls around myself and other people.
There is a barrier that I create around me, such that I don't naturally get close to people and it's hard for people to share my thoughts, my feelings.
But at the same time I desperately want to connect to people the same way as people do. I want to have great friends around me.
But I guess it's hard, when there's a wall that I've already started constructing around me since a long time ago.
Maybe one day I will start to tear down this wall around me..
I guess that's when I have mastered the art of dealing with human relationships.
Right now I am still learning and trying hard at building doors and windows on my walls.
Add colours to your life!!
7:14 PM
